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    August 19

    遗失~

    如果慢慢不会再从细节去关心一个人,那是不是就代表对她的爱少了几分呢?
    我让你帮我把开心网的赛车启动,你又没有管,你只登陆了自己的帐号。
    你可以说是我太敏感了,只是这一切的变化让我觉得你不那么爱我了!
    单位最近工作很忙,积攒在手头的工作越来越多,无暇顾及……
    这面还要应付韩一个一个挑拨的短信,一个一个冠冕堂皇的电话,
    心理还要一遍一遍自欺欺人的告诉自己要相信辉,韩说的一切都不是真的。
    每天夜晚的失眠,每天噩梦的警醒……
    “她不爱你,对你只是责任……”
    “她们每天都会联系,发短信,打电话……”
    “她会照顾她,不会不管她……”
    ………………
    这一句句刺痛心脏的话不受控制的在大脑中回旋,头,剧烈的疼痛,很久没有过的痛!
    HL短信给我说她的生日过了,我都没有表示~是啊!这样一个破败不堪的我,哪还有精力来顾及别人的生日亦或生活呢。
    白天对着所有的人强颜欢笑,晚上一个人默默流泪。
    辉,你知道么?
    我曾经那样封闭自己的内心,我不相信任何人,完全的自我保护。
    是你带我走出光明,让我知道这个世界还有“信任”的存在,我真的很感激,可是为什么你带给我的又都要带走呢?
    你说的那句“就这样轻易的放弃我们两年的感情么?这两年我们是怎么过来的你不知道么?”真的深深的打动了我。
    可是为什么却没有打动你自己?如果你真的知道我们的不容易,真的想去珍惜的话,又何苦闹出这样的悲剧?
    我是真的离不开你,我写这些不是要和你分开,只是想让你了解到我的感受,你知道你一个小小的举动对我造成怎样的影响么?
    也许吧,今天的你已经不在乎,不在乎我的生死,痛或者快乐。
    不知从何时开始,我遗失了你对我的爱……遗失了我自己……

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